So I finished “God King,” and I enjoyed it immensely. The battles were fantastic, the outcome was interesting even though I already knew how it was going to end (and that’s always good but not always acheived by authors trying to tell ‘the full story’ of something we already know).

I absolutely left me wanting more. There were so many characters involved by the end, and Mr. McNeill didn’t try to wrap it all up in a nice neat bow. He left some things open and I feel that is a sign of a mature author. Life rarely ends up with all the loose ends tied up and a sweet little “happily ever after” at the end. Orson Scott Card is a master at this. He tells a satisfying story that leaves the reader satisfied, but with enough threads left to write another story (or two).

I do have some criticisms of the book, however. The world we are in is sort of a “proto-Empire” and in it there are some things that will crop up that we will recognize. There is a group that shows up on the scene in book three that seem to be the great-grandsire of the flagellants, for example. The problem is, we are about 2500 years before the Warhammer world we are playing in. I say it’s a problem, but it’s more of an author’s difficulty. It’s hard to show us something that will become “something else” in about 2500 years. There’s a balance between being blatant and being too subtle. I think Graham McNeill did a good job with this, however there were times when I was reading that I thought I saw flashes of the future and wasn’t sure. It could totally be that I was reading into it, or it could be that Mr. McNeill was erring on the side of caution and going with too subtle over too blatant. I think that is actually a good thing. The story doesn’t require these flashes into the future of the Empire, so if they go unnoticed it’s far better than if I get beat over the head with them. (If anyone want’s an example of someone who took an existing world COMPLETELY fleshed out and wrote a compelling and convincing prequel, try Brian Herbert’s prequels to Frank Herbert’s “Dune” series. Well done considering the balance he needed to strike since his story would lead up to only a few generations before “Dune.”)

My other criticism is actually more of a personal preference and not something that’s wrong with the book. It’s called “God King,” and the whole story centers around Sigmar, but he’s not in the book all that much. Now, that absolutely follows the theme of the story. Sigmar is creating the Empire…something that will be self sustaining, something that is bigger than him. In its earliest incarnation, Sigmar had to forcibly hold the Empire together. In the final book, he can’t be everywhere at once so even the least friendly of the Empire’s leaders are forced to put aside their differences and become unites. It is a theme in most battles in the book, including the final battle, and it works. It works well. I am just so fascinated by Sigmar himself that I wanted more of him. Of course, the parts in which he takes center stage are not only fantastic, but they serve to thoroughly drive home exactly who and what Sigmar is.

Don’t let these criticisms fool you. I loved this book. Upon reflection, it might be the best of the Time of Legends books so far. We see Sigmar take a people unwilling to trust each other and  unify, and force them to live together. More importantly, however, we see those same people go from unwilling, to grudgingly accepting this newly founded Empire, to growing to the realization that Sigmar’s dream is their one best hope for survival and finally embracing it. At the end, Sigmar’s dream is realized and that’s the true point of the series. It’s not about Sigmar simply becoming Emperor and defeating the worst foes of his day. It’s about Sigmar forging an Empire that doesn’t need him as Emperor to survive. It’s the dream of the truly selfless leader. He’s not only creating something in order to be remembered, nor is he simply creating something akin to a family business, or a familial dynasty. Sigmar has taken the Empire itself, every man, woman and child and made them all his heirs, made them all his children. The acts of heroism and selflessness in the final battle are not just exciting bits designed to thrill the audience, they are inspiring flashes that show us proof not only that the Empire will survive, but also how noble humans can actually be. The Empire isn’t simply Sigmar’s legacy. It’s his gift to his people. It’s a promise for a better, safer future for each and every one of them. It’s a story that is entertaining, touching and uplifting all at once.

So I never posted this bit of fluff that I wrote for the Core Competency Tournament. I finally realized that I never posted it, so here it is. It’s not great, but I wanted to keep it to a page. I’m thinking about expanding on it, as a Dwarf Lord slowly going mad might make for a good story. Comments/critiques welcome.

The Army of Lord Grimgaze Blackhammer

Snorri Fellhammer was the most promising Engineer in the last thousand years.  Every weapon he crafted was deadly accurate, and the Master Engineers who saw his creations were astounded by his talent.  His talent for creating new weapons and the genius of his innovations was exceeded only by his love for his family, especially his daughter whom he doted on as if she was Valaya herself.

His name quickly circulated throughout the Engineer’s Guild, and it surprised no one when he was given his Master’s assignment almost 100 years before most students would even be considered for Mastery training.  For his Master Piece, he designed a new black powder weapon that would revolutionize Dwarf warfare. For months he slaved over his work, his hammer ringing out at all hours of the night, with his sons Gurni and Thorek assisting and learning the secrets of Engineering.

One morning, as his task neared completion,  his wife and daughter surprised the hardworking Snorri and his sons with a beautiful meal they had prepared themselves. It was then that disaster struck. Nobody knows exactly what went wrong, but at that moment that the family came together to witness the completion of Snorri’s work, a horrible explosion shook the area and Snorri was knocked unconscious. When he awoke, he found his wife and daughter dead, and  his son Gurni lying in a pool of blood, his face horribly scarred.  Only Thorek was relatively unharmed, suffering three broken ribs and a fractured leg. Snorri himself had suffered a heavy blow to the skull, and awoke to find his Engineering genius gone. He then did the only thing a Dwarf in his position could do. He shaved his head and became a Slayer, and was never heard from by his family again.

Gurni recovered, but was then on known as Grimgaze, because of his scars and the fact that he never again was seen to smile. He took his father’s hammer, now blackened from the blast, and swore an oath that he would never again use, or trust anyone who used, black powder weapons. His father’s hammer became the weapon through which Grimgaze made a legend of his own. He threw himself into battle with a reckless abandon, felling Orcs, Trolls, and Ogres with the zeal of a Slayer, though he never shaved his head. His fame as a warrior grew, and the enemies of the Dwarfs learned to fear the black hammer, and the disfigured Dwarf with the piercing stare who wielded it. Eventually, Grimgaze was named the Lord of his hold, and his people adored him.

His brother, meanwhile, had become an accomplished Runesmith, who stood beside his brother in battle, advising and aiding him where he could. The other Dwarfs knew of Grimgaze’s hatred of all things black powder. All who knew him had heard him say that he would trust no Dwarf in battle that didn’t fight his enemies hand to hand, but instead cowered at a distance, attacking their foes as one would hunt deer. They found it odd when he stopped allowing Quarrelers to join his ranks as well, but since he had never been bested on the battlefield, no one questioned him. Only his brother knew the depths of his mania. Only Thorek saw how unhinged his brother had truly become. Grimgaze’s hatred of ranged weapons continued to grow, until one day he told Thorek that he would no longer allow heavy artillery in his army. Grimgaze had decided that the Dwarf war machines were nothing more than oversized versions of the weapons he had banned from his army.  Thorek know that even the reputation of the Blackhammer wouldn’t convince his people to abandon their war machines. Strife and conflict within the dwarfhold seemed inevitable. Yet, Thorek had a plan. His knowledge of runes and the power they imbued upon the war machines gave him an idea. He took Grimgaze to show him the two war machines in their army that Thorek had personally put runes upon. These, he insisted, were not truly war machines, but runic weapons similar to the ones that were carried into battle by many honorable Dwarfs. In the end, Grimgaze relented, but only allowed those two machines that Thorek had personally inscribed to be used. The others would be left behind.

And so, as morning approaches, Lord Grimgaze Blackhammer sets out to war once more, his brother at his side, and a host of strong armed Dwarfs at his command. Thorek can only hope that the single Grudge Thrower and single Bolt Thrower will lend enough support to his brother, so that the Blackhammer may see victory again this day.

So I was on the forums and I was talking about one thing and, true to form, I wound up falling into a rant. It was so incredibly off topic that I couldn’t, as a moderator, allow it to stand on that thread in good conscience. SO…I decided to actually use my little blog space and post it here in its entirety.
I welcome your opinions, good or bad.

This is part of the “A GW positive episode” thread.

Spirit of Grungni said:

Seriously though, I know Christopher hasn’t chimed in on this, but I think his feelings are the same as mine. In fact, I think you’d even agree with this – If you find models you like just as much or more than the GW models AND they’re cheaper, then there’s no reason not to go with them.

So why am I quoting myself? Because Captain Misquote over there took what I said out of context.

Man, for a guy who gets on a “I stand by my word” soap box…

If you read the entire thought, you’ll see that the opinion I was claiming to know was

If you find models you like just as much or more than the GW models AND they’re cheaper, then there’s no reason not to go with them.

I think I am right in saying that Christopher would agree with that statement.

As for not liking to say much to discredit the company…I’ve voiced plenty of opinions on this show both good and bad.

I just don’t feel the need to make up or complain about non-issues like so many rage quitters just to try and keep myself from sounding like the huge fan that I am as if it’s bad to be a GW fan. Bryan does have one thing right. If you are a huge fan of GW (and you aren’t Curry, Johnson, Heelan or Kemp) everyone else tends to discount your opinion as nothing more than being an apologist for GW; a fanboy. I am not an apologist.

I just think 8th is a fantastic system more and more every time I play it. There isn’t one thing I’ve found that “must” be changed for the game to work. It’s hugely different from 7th and I wish people could get past it. Sure, we’re always going to compare, but sitting around pining away for infinitely high hill, infinitely dense forests, or VC with 17 power dice per magic phase like a lovesick schoolgirl isn’t going to change a thing.

Every game I play I see less and less need for comp. You could put it in to keep it friendlier, and I would have no problem with that. I, however, see a game that is self comping and the randomness is part of that self comping gameplay. Magic is fickle, so even the best thought out plans for your magic aren’t guaranteed. Chaos is, well, chaos. I messes everything up. This game seems to, more than any other, capture the fog of war right in its game mechanics. As a general, there are times I can’t even count on my units completing the simplest of charges. War is hell, and sometimes your plans fall to s**t all around you. What can you do? Nothing. It’s a lot like life. It’s why I love this game more and more after every game.

You want guarantees? This game offers you none. You can set all the traps and line up every model and plan every move, and some element can mess it up for you. This isn’t chess. It isn’t going to allow you to make a perfect list and be unstoppable. It isn’t going to allow you to make an unbeatable plan. What you need is a little energon, and a lot of luck. You can’t always think your way out. War isn’t always a solvable puzzle. That’s chess and as much as I love chess, chess is too clear cut to be anything like war.

In 7th, people who could guess ranges better than others had an advantage. How many times did I cannon snipe people (yay!) and then turn around and declare a 6″ charge and fail because I was 6 1/16″ away (boo)? I tell you what, I find it more believable that my charge command faltered and failed 20% of the way into the charge than that my unit realized they estimated their charge one stride short and simply decided to quit.

It’s a completely different game. It’s a much more chaotic game. It’s a much more cinematic game. It’s a much more exciting game. It’s also much less precise now. Does that make it bad? Or not good for tourneys? Not in my opinion, because this is the type of game I like to play. So the best general doesn’t always win. Sorry, the best general doesn’t always win. Throughout history the better tactician has lost due to things beyond his control. It’s what makes for a more exciting game. If the best general/tactician should always win becuase they figured out their best strategy and unraveled the puzzle of their opponents strategy more efficiently, then I have to conceed every game for the rest of my life to Christopher. He’s better at that stuff than I am. I, on the other hand, am really good at coming up with crap on the fly. I improvise. Making stuff up off the top of my head as I go along is a strong suit of mine. It doesn’t always work. I often bet heavy on a half baked strategy and lose…but when it works, man do I win heavy.

I know I seem to be way off topic here, but I am going to bring this all together. I think 8th is awesome. Not only do I think 8th is awesome, but I can articulate (rather well IMO) the various reasons why I think it all works so well. Does that make me a fanboy? maybe.

Does it somehow invalidate my opinion? From the way my views are often received/responded to I would say that many people would say yes. Yes it does.

Well that’s crap. Being a huge fan of GW doesn’t automatically invalidate a person’s opinion. In fact, I often stop and question my opinion in the “fanboy light” to make certain that I’m not just rah-rahing blindly for the home team. The truth is, if you want a game where you could have almost total control over everything around you, you probably miss 7th and dislike 8th. If you thought that seeing the exact same list for certain armies every time you faced them because under those rules they were the “perfect list” was getting a bit boring, you might like 8th more. (I don’t konw if the perfect list is still coming and just not here yet. There are certainly items that are a 1+ in their armies, but I’ve yet to see a “standard” list for any army other than WoC and their lack of shooting coupled with the super power of the Tzeentch Sorcerer Lord have helped to foster “that list.” And be honest, 1 army out of 16 is not bad.)

I’m a person who has fallen in love with 8th, not as a fanboy, but as a player. I’m still pissed about $41 for 10 special plastic models or $45 for three trolls/minos. I’m WAY pissed about the 8 months of nothing new rules/army book wise wise and fit to be tied that the first book is O&G. Are there minor things that are strange or annoying in the rules? Sure there are. Have they ever ruined my time or cost me the game? No. And there’s the thing. There’s a difference between not liking a rule and the rule not working.

I don’t let the fact that I don’t like a rule fester in me. I don’t sit around complaining about a rule that has changed the game, but has never ruined a game. (I’m not saying I never complained about a rule, especially during a game where that rule was working to my opponents favor. That would be a lie.) What I’m saying is that, I think people don’t like some things that are now different. They like it the old way. And even if the old way wouldn’t work in the overall rules set of this game, that’s what they liked and they have their right to bitch about it and they are going to darn well exercise that right to the point where they get all worked up and rage quit. That’s not me. that’s not even close to me. The fact is, this rules set works as an overall package and changing a few rules, not because they don’t work but because we really just don’t like the mechanics isn’t something I’m into.
Once again, I’m certain some of you are reading this and rolling your eyes and thinking “fanboy.”

The truth is, there are just as many people out there who would complain about GW if the company gave their models away for free. GW is the evil empire and can do no right. Those people are just as bad, if not worse, than the fanboys. These are the people GW hears because they are the most vocal. These people are part of the reason that GW doesn’t seem to listen to us. I wouldn’t want to hear the constant whinging of an overly vocal minority either.

The funny thing is, I’ve heard my opinions echoed on Heelanhammer and Bad Dice. What I don’t hear is people criticizing those guys and saying they don’t know what they’re talking about or that they are “just a couple of fanboys.”

Apparently if you live in England and make the ETC and show up high on the Rankings HQ list, you can share my opinions and be taken seriously. On the other hand, if you’re just a dork in his basement with too many unpainted models but you happen to have a microphone, you’re still just an apologist fanboy who is too blinded by his love for GW to look at them critically.

I do look at them critically, but it’s constructive criticism. Both good and bad. Yep. Mostly good, but I said in the beginning that I love the game, so whadda ya want form me?

So that’s what I wrote. I know it’s off topic and all over and I should probably go back and edit myself a little more, but I like the natural free form train of thought style of it, so I’m leaving it here for you to read. Hope you enjoyed it.

Ok, so this is more about my kid than about me or my hobby. However, Most of my talk about hobbying will be on the show and in the forum. My own painting project will probably post here as it’s our site and I figure, “Why not post my pics in my own special place? That’s what a special place is for.”

Considering for a moment, and then realizing I almost always take my own advice, I nodded in agreement with myself and decided that this is where my pics and stuff would go. But that’s not in this post.

Morgan is my daughter and she just was at Chuck E. Cheese and then went to a Twilight convention with her mom. I am not kidding when I say this girl is either an evil genius or the luckiest kid I’ve ever met. (For the record, either one is ok with me.) You give her a couple dozen tokens and she comes back fifteen minutes later with about 400-500 tokens. When I asked her how she won that many, she tells me she “won a couple of the 100′s on the spinning light wheel game.” This is the game where you hit the huge button when you want the light to stop and win whatever it stops on. Most people are hitting the 3 on either side, but not Morgan, she pumped in about six tokens at once and started pressing. Then she just played ski-ball and won some more tickets. It was fun. Considering that she had as many tickets as the other three people playing combined, I think that’s pretty darn good. I mean, you figure they will let you pick a higher ticket price than the number of tickets you have, as long as you pay $.01 for every ticket you’re short. So each ticket is realistically worth a penny.

So she’s the only one who goes up there and can pick from one of the “bigger” prizes and not just the ones behind glass in the counter. Now I know I spent about $25 on tokens and my kids walked away with about $5.82 worth of crap they are going to lose in a week, but Morgan almost broke even, and that’s not something that is easy to do at Chuck E. Cheese.

I’m not knocking Chuck E. Cheese, either. I mean, that’s how they make money. You play for tickets and trade them in. since you can just walk up and buy an 500 item for $5.00 with no tickets at all because of the penny per ticket difference, then each ticket is literally worth a penny. The thing is, you are rarely if ever going to buy $5.00 with of tokens and get 500 tickets. That would be stupid, they’d be out of business. They make money by giving your kids a fun time playing games of skill and chance, with a few video games and kids’ rides mixed in, in exchange for a few small payoffs and a chance to bring home some souvenirs you “won.” Kinda like a kiddie Las Vegas. But Morgan is the rare one who walks out of there breaking even. (Listen, for this whole metaphor to work, breaking even at Chuck E. Cheese is like hitting it big in Vegas, ok? There is no friggin’ hitting it big at Chuck E. Cheese unless you can hit that 100 light every time. Even then, if you did, Once you won a ton, things are bound to get ugly. A pro beating the system at the local pizzatainment facility? Frightening.)

So where was I? Oh yeah, Morgan breaks even.

Then she goes to the Twilight convention. She one of the few really young girls there and she gets to “help” with the auction that she’s at with mom. (Total side note, Heather won me an autographed picture of Shatner. That’s right. I got William Shatner’s autograph on a picture of him from the original TV show. That’s cool! I got something else, but I’m going to save that for the next episode because this, while not as cool as Shatner’s autograph, is pretty bad ass.  – Total second side note, I just deleted three lines of text of me telling you what it was. That’s right, I typed that I wasn’t going to say, then I said how bad ass it was, and then I told you. Wow. That’s dumb.)

So Morgan is helping out at this auction, and she gets a Twilight Eclipse bag, and a werewolf t-shirt. Then, the other girl got two shirts that she already had, so she gave them to Morgan. A Cullen Baseball Team t-shirt and another baseball shirt, but for the Werewolves, and this one was a 3/4 sleeve baseball jersey type shirt. The girl already had them and Morgan didn’t so, here. Really? When does that happen to you? Or me? Really?

THEN, they have one more BIG prize, and the three girl helpers are going to rock, paper, scissors for it. The two girls throw scissors, Morgan throws rock, both are out in one, (and yes, it could have gone on for more than one round. All three girls could have chosen a different option so nobody wins, or they could have had two scissors and a paper, for example, so only one was out and then the other two go head to head for real rock, paper, scissors excitement!) What did she win? One of those promotional banners that are made out of tarp. You know, the kind they hang in theaters or out in the street in front of stores, suspended from the streetlights. It’s 2 1/2′ by 6′ maybe? It’s got Edward and Bella at the top and the wolf pack near the bottom and it’s got like 6 signatures from actors in the movie. These things sell for a ton online and auction for a bunch at these conventions. But Morgan gets it. Morgan gets it for a single round of rock, paper, scissors. Morgan gets it because, when the other two girls extended their index and middle fingers like an imaginary pair of scissors, Morgan didn’t do anything. She just kept her hand balled up in a fist. Hell, I didn’t even know she knew how to play rock, paper, scissors. Maybe she just did nothing because…what else was there to do? Heck, what do I know? Far be it from me to say if she deserves all these prizes or not. Lord knows I don’t deserve any prizes, so who am I to say anything about her? I will tell you this though, this happens to Morgan a lot. She really is “Lucky Morgan.”
She wants to start building and painting miniatures. Empire models seem to interest her the most. She doesn’t really want to play. That doesn’t interest her, but she wants to paint. I’m kinda hoping she changes her mind. With the way every game she plays and every contest she enters just bands her way, she could be a terror on the other end of the table when she’s old enough to play. Wouldn’t that be awesome? Two of my kids playing Warhammer? I’m certain the youngest would follow suit eventually if we all were playing. Then it would be all but Heather, and she’s either ban the game altogether or kill us all when she’d finally had enough talk of artillery, redirecting, leadership tests and miscasts at the dinner table.

Lucky for her Morgan isn’t interested in the game other than the painting.

So I spoke to a Games Workshop representative (who by necessity will remain nameless) today about when we can expect the next round of FAQ’s. We specifically discussed the Dwarfs who seem to be the only army left who can’t have a shield for their standard bearer, and whose two best rare weapons are completely screwed by the new rules.

For those of you who are unaware, the Flame Cannon and the Gyrocopter have been rendered not so useful and completely useless respectively. What am I talking about? Well, the BRB (Big Red Book) states that rules in the individual army books supercede the rules in the BRB. So…the Dwarf army book says that the Dwarf BSB can’t take a shield, as does the Wood Elf book and most of the 6th edition holdover army books. That sucks, but I admit it isn’t that big of a deal. What really sucks is that the Dwarf book specifically states that partial coverage with the flame template for both the Flame Cannon and the Gyrocopter must roll a 4+ to hit. What’s worse? Models with the Fly special rule do not fly when they flee or pursue. They run along the ground. They do benefit from the swiftstride special rule since their movement is 10”, but they most certainly do not fly. Well, that sucks because the Dwarf book says that the Gyrocopter has a ground movement of zero. I believe the exact wording is, “If the Gyrocopter can not fly for any reason, then it can not move at all.” Well, crap!

So the Gyro can’t flee or pursue. That makes it rather useless. Anyway, when I brought this up to the GW rep, I was given this advice. “If you’re playing against someone and they tell you that you have to roll for your partials, or that your Gyrocopter can’t flee or pursue, then here is what you do. Reach across the table and punch them in the face.” Now, this was funny but I pointed out that this wouldn’t help at all during the upcoming ‘Ard Boyz Tournament. (I know I’m not going, but a tourney is a tourney and I expect that the ruling would be the same at whatever tourney you go to.) His response? “If you’re at “Ard Boyz and someone tells you that you have to roll for partials and your Gyrocopter can’t flee or pursue, here’s what you do. You reach over the table, punch the person in the face, and then break all their models because they don’t deserve to play.”

Now, you’re probably thinking the same thing I’m thinking. Well that’s a great sentiment, but that doesn’t help me. The rules as written are the rules. So here’s what he said. Now, this may not help for tournaments, but as far as garage gaming goes, I think this really shows what GW intends for their games. First he pointed out the “Most Important Rule” which is to have fun and, if you can’t agree just roll off for it. But then he went a bit farther…

He said that GW UK really takes a relaxed view of gaming, which is why the book points out that you may find conflicting stuff in your rules and you should work it out with your friends. Admittedly, they hope to clarify everything, but they realize that there are things that may come up that they missed and they still want you to be able to play. Then the next point he made was that the “army book overrules the BRB” rule was meant to cover the many circumstances where an army has special rules that make them more powerful or more unique or gives them an alternate chart or something.

He said (and this is the whole point of what I’m writing, I guess) that the “overrule” of the army book was NEVER intended to make the units in your army worse. Only better. He stated that he was certain that the rolling on partials thing would eventually be FAQ’d as would the movement thing. It may not be right away, but it would happen. Why? Because they wouldn’t make rules that affect every model positively (relatively) except yours. It totally screws yours. They wouldn’t make a rule that makes it so your Gyrocopter can’t even move most of the time. Why would they? You can argue that some rules CHANGES make the units more or less effective. That’s based on the differences in editions. But taken alone, the 8th edition rules are pretty solid and the rules for flyers or for templates are meant to be, for the most part standard. The specific rules in the army book generally work to that unit’s BENEFIT. GW’s intention was never to have army book rules that made a unit useless. They don’t want any useless units. So, for now, I’ll totally play by the rules as written unless I’m playing against someone who will let me use my Gyrocopter as intended as opposed to as written. Hopefully the FAQ will update soon.

Ok gang,

Daniel “I can explain computer stuff to even the dumbest of the dumb” Fallon has finally configured our site so that Christopher and I can put up our own personal thoughts and stuff and not have them on the home page, so check back here if you are interested in what I’ve been doing lately…in Warhammer, stuff I’ve read, movie reviews and other nonsense.

See you soon!